INTP Loneliness: Why INTPs Feel So Lonely
Anyone can feel lonely, for some people it can feel like a constant struggle. Loneliness isn’t the same as just being alone, and is a much deeper feeling. Some people experience this loneliness when they are surrounded by people, because they never truly feel like people are listening or connecting with them. Being alone also doesn’t always create this sense of loneliness, and so the feelings is something much more complicated than simply having people around you. For some people it can be an ongoing search to find those connections which will make them feel complete and understood.
INTPs definitely experience feelings of loneliness, sometimes even when they have close friendships and relationships. It can be hard for them to open up to people, since they are deeply feeling people but don’t fully know how to process those emotions. Sometimes being someone who feels so different from others can cause the INTP to feel misunderstood, and they end up distancing themselves because of this. While they might want to feel close to people, that doesn’t make it easy for them to take those next steps towards connecting and reaching a deeper understanding.
Never Feeling Understood
INTPs struggle with feeling understood by most people, since they feel like they cannot fully express themselves the way they want to. While the INTP has a complex inner mind, that isn’t the only part of themselves they struggle to explain to others. INTPs feel emotions deeply, they just don’t show them outwardly. Even when the INTP wants to express those inner feelings, it never seems to come out the way they want. They might feel like they are being very expressive and detailed, yet the feelings come out in pieces and much more vague than the INTP realizes. This is something which they struggle with and it can cause them to feel a disconnect from those around them. The INTP who is trying so hard to connect, might feel like no one understands them the way they want to be understood. This makes it harder for the INTP, and can cause them to put up walls in hopes of avoiding this type of hurt in the future. Feeling so different can be a challenge for the INTP, especially when they are trying to forge bonds which will spark their soul and make them feel alive.
They Can Be Alone For a Long Time
INTPs don’t need a lot of face to face interactions, and actually enjoy being alone quite a bit. INTPs can go for long periods of time without being around people, and they actually feel just fine with this most of the time. Just because they enjoy being alone, does not mean they want to be lonely. INTPs often enjoy people who they can feel close to even when they aren’t physically together. They also enjoy relationships with people who can sit beside them in silence, without making them feel guilty for their need to avoid too much social interaction. This can be a challenge for the INTP, since their need for time alone can make them feel alienated from others. When they don’t feel safe expressing this need for space to recharge, the INTP might just start to distance themselves so they can avoid the backlash they might receive from this personal need.
Fear of Rejection
INTPs can certainly be afraid of rejection, much more than most people realize. This is something which can often stem from childhood, and feeling like their differences have been judged by those around them. INTPs put up walls so that they can avoid this type of hurt in the future, but this makes it hard for people to connect with them properly. The INTP might feel misunderstood, but in some cases they distance themselves from ever showing who they are to people. This fear of being rejected and hurt can cause the INTP to push people away before they can ever reach that point of getting truly close to someone. It isn’t necessarily an intentional action and the INTP might not realize they are doing this. They want to get close but they don’t want to risk the feelings of being rejected, and so they create these hurdles and walls which keeps people from being able to fully understand them and where they are coming from. While the INTP might feel safer this way, it can certainly cause them to feel lonely in most of their relationships. Keeping people at a distance is something which makes it so hard for the INTP to reach this deep level of connection which would make them feel truly appreciated for who they are.
Tools to Cope
For the INTP some of the best coping tools can be understanding themselves better and how they respond to people around them. Knowing why they feel so lonely is certainly a step towards bridging the gap they create between themselves and those around them. INTPs do care about their loved ones and sometimes they just struggle to show this the right ways. The INTP does benefit from learning more about how they express their affections, and finding ways to express themselves towards people in a more personal and individualized manner. Sometimes the greatest struggle for the INTP is opening up, so that they can find people who will appreciate what they learn about the INTP. It isn’t always an easy process, since expressing their emotions is something INTPs struggle with, but sometimes just sharing that fact with the right people helps them to connect and grow closer. They can also benefit from trusting in themselves more, and not feeling like they need to second guess every choice and action they make in relationships. INTPs might not want to get hurt, but that is the very thing which can hold them back from really bonding with someone in a way which removes that sense of loneliness.
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FAQs
He explains that INTPs, who typically prefer to be alone and focus on their interests, can experience intense emotional moments that leave them feeling disconnected and lonely if they don't have someone to share these experiences with.
Why is INTP lonely? ›
The INTP loneliness comes from the way we show love and appreciation for others; to be generous with what we have. Without someone to be generous towards, that's the stifling feeling of loneliness we feel. Towards our friends, we're generally generous on what we can offer.
Are INTPs destined to be alone? ›
But here's an essential truth – being an INTP doesn't mean you're destined to be a lonely introvert. Yes, we have our quirks. We value our personal space, prefer logic over emotions, and are often lost in our own thoughts. But these are not weaknesses – they're strengths that make us unique.
Why do INTPs isolate themselves? ›
INTPs are known for being introverted and analytical individuals who value independence and privacy. When we are not feeling good, we may withdraw and spend time alone in order to process our thoughts and emotions in a more introspective and logical way.
Why do I feel so isolated from everyone? ›
You might also wonder, "Why am I alone?" Causes of loneliness include life changes that lead to social isolation, like moving to a new place, grieving a death, or the end of a relationship. In some cases, loneliness is linked with mental health conditions like depression.
What turns off an INTP? ›
Emotional neediness: You better not tell us to sacrifice our autonomy to deal with your emotions. The worst thing you can do is ask us for your lack of emotional regulation. 2. Clinginess: We expect others to have a sense of autonomy and independence.
Which MBTI feels the most lonely? ›
As a matter of fact, people with the INFP personality type (Mediators) seem to grapple with loneliness the most frequently. According to our “Loneliness” survey, 69% of INFPs say they feel lonely often or very often, compared to an average of about 51% across all 16 personality types.
What personality is close to INTP? ›
People with an INTP personality type tend to be more compatible with an ENTJ, ESTJ, or ENTP, potentially making them good marriage partners. Conversely, an INTP may clash with an ISFJ or ESFJ.
Why is an INTP suddenly distant? ›
INTPs need time to process their thoughts, and it is important that you allow them to do this. As introverted thinkers, INTPs can seem cold and distant at times.
Which MBTI is most likely to remain single? ›
INFJs are the most likely to remain single for the following reasons: They are introverts, extremely private and independent. They are idealistic and have high standards for themselves and others.
I mean their are intelligent ESFJs too. And the average iq of an INTP is 115. Which is a little bit higher then average.
How do INTPs act when stressed? ›
Often, the scrupulousness of their approach conflicts with the quick problem-solving required in certain situations. Such situations are stressful for many INTPs. When they're under stress, they become slower and their thinking less sharp.
What triggers an INTP? ›
INTPs find it stressful if they are forced to participate in too much socializing, small talk, or what they see as frivolous activity. They may also get upset if other people dismiss their ideas because they don't fully understand them.
What is the root cause of loneliness? ›
Contributing factors to loneliness include situational variables, such as physical isolation, moving to a new location, and divorce. 5 The death of someone significant in a person's life can also lead to feelings of loneliness. Loneliness can also be attributed to internal factors such as low self-esteem.
How does a lonely person behave? ›
When someone feels lonely they are more likely to try to distract themselves with the other things in their lives. So if your colleague is always talking about their stamp collection, or always flying away on exotic solo city breaks rather than spending weekends at home, they might be feeling alone.
Why do I always feel lonely and unloved? ›
There may be many factors contributing to feelings of being unloved or unwanted. For example, you may be experiencing symptoms of a mental health disorder, like depression or borderline personality disorder. Or, you may be experiencing the effects of an insecure attachment style that developed when you were a child.
Why do INTPs have low self esteem? ›
Due to their tendency to focus on negative details, Logicians often look at their thoughts, actions, and behaviors through a filtered lens, which can cause them to be overly critical of themselves. This continuous stream of self-criticism can lead to lower self-esteem and chronic self-doubt.
Why is it hard to date an INTP? ›
Maybe you're grappling with feelings of miscommunication, or perhaps the emotional connection feels off-balance. INTPs are logical, introverted thinkers who prize independence and clarity, but that can often leave their partners feeling perplexed or neglected.
What is the weak point of INTP? ›
Weaknesses that are typically associated with the INTP personality type include... INTPs tend to enjoy thinking over different ideas rather than fully committing to one before they're ready. This means that they may get lost chasing after the best solution, rather than just trying something to see if it works.
